Like Father, Like Son

FCC Chairman Michael Powell
awoke this morning
to find the Invisible Conceptual
Idiot Baton welded
to his forehead

The Invisible Conceptual Idiot Baton Awards Committee (ICIBAC) is proud to announce the completion of its latest covert operation. Last night at approximately 0300 hours, ICIBAC reclaimed the Idiot Baton from America's Chief Diplomat Colin Powell. Shortly thereafter, ICIBAC snuck operatives into the home of FCC Chairman Michael Powell and welded the Idiot Baton to his forehead, where it will remain until a bigger idiot is identified.

"Michael Powell recognizes that his efforts are best expended on this nation's number one threat - that of objectionable content," said an ICIBAC spokesman at a press conference held at ICIBAC's headquarters inside a hollowed-out volcano. "Powell is undeterred in his quest to ensure that none of our citizens will ever have to fear the burning sensation in one's eyes that is most closely associated with viewing images of naked people. Nor will they have to live in fear of atrophy of the brain, which has been linked to instances of listening to Howard Stern talk about lesbian sex on the radio."

Amid throngs of applause, Powell was spotted banging his head repeatedly against the wall in an attempt to dislodge the baton.

"Thank God for Michael Powell," continued the spokesman. "It's rare in this day and age that politicians take a proactive stance to address the average citizen's need to be protected from himself."

Colin Powell Accepts Invisible Conceptual Idiot Baton

Colin Powell Poses with
the Invisible Conceptual Idiot Baton

Hespos.com is proud to announce that it has awarded the Invisible Conceptual Idiot Baton to "America's Top Diplomat" Colin Powell for his recent efforts in Pakistan.

Thanks to Powell's tenacity and negotiating skill, Pakistan will be designated "a key non-NATO ally" thus making it easier for the Pakistani government to acquire advanced weaponry from the United States. Undoubtedly, these advanced weapons will be used:

1. Against Indians in Kashmir
2. Against the U.S. when they "accidentally" fall into the hands of militants not allied with the Pakistani government
3. To lend stability to the Musharraf government, which has courageously defied Pakistani public opinion to lend critical assistance to the War On Terror

Introducing the Invisible Conceptual Idiot Baton

Hespos.com needs an official award for all the idiots out there who deserve recognition. However, since funds are low for sending "You're an Idiot" plaques to everyone out there who deserves one, we've elected to make our official idiot award entirely conceptual. After all, it doesn't cost anything to bestow a conceptual award. Plus, we won't have problems with idiots refusing to accept their award by shipping it back to us. Soooo...

We are proud to introduce The Invisible Conceptual Idiot Baton. The baton will be awarded to the biggest idiot of the current moment. As bigger idiots make themselves known to us, we will wrest the baton away from its owner and re-award it as appropriate.

Thank you. This has been a public service announcement.