My Carpentry Skills Suck

Thank God for wood putty. My mom's task was to build her a bookshelf for the new library. Problem was, it had to be made out of pine that was 3/4" thick. Of course, the wood wasn't perfectly straight and it was difficult to get it to do what I wanted. Plus there were a couple screw-ups. I routed some shelf joints where they shouldn't be, and had to fill them in with putty. And one of the shelves split in two. Yuck.

I built it. Mom is in charge of sanding it and painting it, so we'll see if it will actually hold books when she's done.

Next time I'm insisting on using thicker (non-pine) wood so I'm not constantly flirting with splits and not trying to cram a warped board into a perfectly straight joint.

Why Bite The Hand That Feeds You?

Two nights ago, I was listening to John Durham's guest appearance on Across The Sound and really enjoying myself. John is a great guy and a great friend, but I couldn't disagree with him more when it came to his bit on people in advertising who dislike advertising. It's perfectly okay to dislike the broadcast model, even if you work in advertising. It's perfectly okay to use DVRs to skip commercials, to block spam, to nuke pop-ups and to get pissed when people start introducing interruptive broadcast commercials into environments that haven't carried advertising previously.

Moreover, it's perfectly okay to work in marketing and dislike advertising. IMHO, we need more people in marketing who dislike advertising, because there's so much wrong with advertising these days that needs fixing, we can use all the help we can get.

There's such an overabundance of broadcast-model advertising out there that not only are most people turned off by the sheer volume of it, but also by the lack of substance behind it. People are tired of being treated like a herd of cattle by broadcast ads. It's insulting.

Put it this way. You see a Lexus ad on TV. Along with the message about the ridiculously low financing, fine features of the car and the call to action is another underlying message. It says, "We're not listening to you. We don't care how many times you've already seen this ad. We don't care whether or not you're even in the market for a car. We don't care that another of our models might be more appropriate for your needs. And we don't care how much the fact that we're not listening annoys you. Just get your ass to the dealer."

Nobody from Lexus corporate wants to engage you in dialogue. They just know that for every ad they run, they'll get X number of people to their local dealer, Y people will test drive and Z cars will be sold. This works for them. When they need to sell more cars, they simply buy more ads and maybe offer a nice incentive for a limited time.

I think that meaningful dialogue and conversation is going to form the backbone of marketing campaigns. It's starting to happen now, but both ad agencies and, more critically, the companies that hire them are going to need to change. We need conversation departments. We need media technology. But most importantly, we need a willingness to listen on the part of the advertiser.

So yeah, it's appropriate to dislike advertising because you want it to change. And my comment about needing more people who dislike advertising is geared toward the folks who could help accelerate the change in the ad model.

Don't feel bad about having a pop-up blocker or a spam blocker. Don't feel bad about thinking ads suck. Don't feel bad about trying to change the ad world you live in (and make your living in).

Other than the implication that people who dislike advertising and work in the field are hypocrites, I think John did a fantastic job on ATS.

Diversion Tactic

I demonstrated earlier for the people in my office how my new Nautica umbrella works. Basically, I push the button to open it, and the top of the umbrella separates from the handle and shoots five feet into the air. It then opens up, eventually floating back down to the pavement. I can't remember whether I bought this piece of crap at Linens and Shit or Bed, Bath and Beyond My Price Range. In any case, I lost the damn receipt so now I'm stuck with it.

I plan to use this if I ever get mugged. Just press the button and run. The mugger will hopefully be distracted by the pretty umbrella top slowly floating back to Earth and won't chase after me. I understand a certain species of lizard can do something similar, such that its enemies end up chasing its detached and wriggling tail instead of the lizard itself.

Correlation vs. Causality

I'm really amazed at what passes for health news stories these days, especially in my favorite newspaper, Newsday. If you think the MSM jumps the gun in poltical or hard news reporting, that ain't nothing compared to the MSM's approach to health stories. At the mere mention of some sort of correlation between X and Y, newspapers run stories about how X causes Y or Y causes X. And when these stories are corrected (or perhaps I should say "If they're corrected.") they almost invariably fit one of two descriptions:

1) Three-line "oops" mention in the "Corrections" section, or 2) Trumping up of their prior incorrect story to medical consensus status and feigned surprise at evidence that contradicts the earlier story.

Not only does the mainstream media need to learn the difference between correlation and causality, but so does the public. It does NOT logically follow that because there's a statistical correlation between X and Y that X causes Y. Such thinking leads to paranoid moms suddenly uprooting their families to avoid bird flu, huge new markets for anti-bacterial crap and decades of discrimination against perfectly good sweeteners like saccharine.

All this misunderstanding of the concept of correlation is a great argument for making statistics part of the required curriculum in high school.