Light Pollution

Things have too many fricking lights. I'm not talking about when Wal-Mart comes to town and they ruin stargazing for miles in each direction by putting a sports stadium's compliment of sodium lights in their parking lot. That's a rant for another time.

I'm talking about electronic devices.

It's tough to sleep sometimes, especially when I forget to charge my cell phone in my truck and I leave it in my bedroom. It has to blink green or red or blue every few seconds to convey the mission-critical information that it is, in fact, on.

My HP desktop blinks like crazy. Push the power button and it glows blue, lighting up the entire room. When the computer goes to sleep, the blue light doesn't turn off. It blinks. I have passed my home office at night, seen the blue, blinking glow coming from under the door, and thought the cops might have pulled someone over in front of the house. It's that bad.

Scanning around my bedroom trying to fall asleep last night, here's what's lit up even after the lights are out.

  1. Playstation 3. A red light, evidently there to show everyone that it is off. Isn't that just silly on its face? A light that comes on to indicate that something is off...
  2. The cable box. This thing won't stop glowing unless you unplug it. When it's on, it shows the channels and whatnot. When it's off, it's a glowing green clock. Oh, and this green display lights up and says "Bypass," as in "the cable box is bypassed. You're not currently watching TV." More silliness, if you ask me.
  3. The DVD player. Another light to show that it is, in fact, off.
  4. The light switch. It glows so you can find it in the dark. No thanks. I'll just feel around the wall.
  5. Two alarm clocks. My wife's is fine - one of those standard digital ones that glows red. Mine was a gift from Dad, and wonderful in all respects except for this one: When you shut the lights off, it glows blue. Not the numbers, mind you. The numbers stay black and the clock display is backlit in blue. It's like 50 Indiglo watches with the "light" button stuck in the "on" position. I put a pillow between me and it during the night. If I wake up and want to know what time it is, I move the pillow.
  6. MyBlackberry. It's blinking.

Maybe it's just a design fad thing that will go away soon. But right now I feel like William Shatner's character in Airplane II:

Oh, cut the bleeding heart crap, will ya? We've all got our switches, lights, and knobs to deal with, Striker. I mean, down here there are literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing lights, blinking and beeping and flashing - they're flashing and they're beeping. I can't stand it anymore! They're blinking and beeping and flashing! Why doesn't somebody pull the plug?!

Another pet peeve

Ad clicks and brand impact are in two completely separate areas of influence. Ad clicks are only a measure of initial interest in a product or service. What compels clicks doesn't necessarily promote brand impact. So when I ask you about branding and you want to talk Cost Per Click (CPC), that's like me asking you "What's your favorite color?" and you responding, "To get to the other side." It's an answer to a question that was never asked.

And people ask me why their media property gets pigeonholed as a direct response vehicle. Grrr...

Sick of flagrant pageview whoring

I'm really starting to tire of feature articles that can be displayed on one web page taking up five instead (or worse, put into a "slideshow" format). It's flagrant pageview whoring. I mean, come on...Does Cracked.com's content strategy ever deviate from the following?

  1. Develop linkbait Top 10 list
  2. Write a page's worth of copy
  3. Pretty it up with inane images and spread it out over five pages
  4. Post to Digg
  5. Profit!

Of course, I have no objection whatsoever to making money, but not every piece of content on the web is suitable for a slideshow format that tries to turn a single pageview into 10. And there are a bunch of sites out there (I'm looking at you, CNN) that are either stretching content that ought not to be stretched, promoting slideshows in an over-the-top manner, or using every marginally-related link opportunity to drive people to streaming video.

Yes, I understand online publishing monetization strategy. The difference is, I understand it well enough to know when techniques designed to boost comScore/Nielsen numbers and to squeeze every last dime out of an audience are done to death.