Top 10 Signs the Internet Ad Business is coming back

1. You haven't been to FuckedCompany in three months
2. The phones are ringing - and it's not your fellow media execs looking for gigs
3. You have an integrated communications meeting at the client, and the client doesn't leave during the Internet part of the presentation
4. Portal reps reinstitute buy minimums
5. You're getting unsolicited job offers from companies you've never heard of again
6. Your company downgrades its dress code again - from business attire M-Th and business casual on Fridays to casual M-Th and "slovenly" on Fridays
7. You mention Internet advertising as a supplemental reach vehicle at a client meeting and nobody laughs
8. Your assistant planner just got hired away, taking a gig as EVP of Business Development for an Internet startup
9. Drinks after work celebrate new client wins, not surviving another round of layoffs
10. Your media supe just set a new record for "Most consecutive days dining at Nobu"

If you're going to write an opinion piece on Integrated Marketing...

...it helps to know what Integrated Marketing is. This piece on AdAge.com by Al Ries attempts to debunk the notion that integrated marketing is the wave of the future. Instead, it falls flat on its face.

Integrated marketing is NOT simply the notion of putting all of your services under one roof. Integrated marketing is a philosophy and, in some cases, a process that ensures that all marketing-related activities flow from a central marketing strategy.

Ries mentions that the trend in marketing services these days is toward specialization. While this is true, it has little bearing on the trend toward integrated marketing. Why? Let me give you an example.

Yesterday, one of my partners and I were out of the office all day at an off-site brainstorming for one of our clients, The MathWorks. We work on this client with one of our partner agencies, Magnitude 9.6, so the services are not housed under one roof. Prior to this meeting, we had worked on communications and media strategy documents that were with the client, and we were having our kickoff brainstorming to discuss marketing tactics that would align with the strategy we had laid out.

The strategy documents were contributed to by media, account management, creative, account planning and technology. Each of these disciplines were represented at the brainstorming. And when we came up with ideas, each discipline contributed to the formation of each idea and the discussion around how, when and why to execute it. Media ideas came from creative. PR ideas came from media. All sorts of ideas came from different disciplines and were vetted and contributed to by every discipline in the room. This is integration at work.

Integration is not housing all of your marketing services in one building or organization and slapping an "integrated" label on it. Integration is the consistent application of ideas that flow from the same communications and marketing strategy, leveraging the unique contributions of each marketing discipline.

So let's just cut the crap with the "integration is dead" proclamations, shall we?

When Spam is outlawed, only outlaws will send spam

I keep tallies on the amount of spam I get in a weekend, just for shits and giggles. This weekend resulted in a new record - 611 pieces - which is a testament to the effectiveness of CAN-SPAM. I know people tend to get tired of seeing redneck bumper stickers that say "When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns" but that's exactly what happened with CAN-SPAM. Lots of people called it. They knew the law would have more impact on legit e-mail marketers than on spammers. But once again, the government failed to learn from history.

Of the 611 pieces that reached my desktop over the weekend, not one fully complied with CAN-SPAM. Postal addresses were left out, headers were forged, subject lines were deceptive. And almost all of these pieces came from spammers, not legit marketers. The spammers' approaches aren't changing, but legit e-mail marketers are struggling to ensure compliance.

A prediction here...The first nightmare stories we're going to read about in the mainstream press are going to pertain to legitimate marketers. You'll hear about this stuff before you here of major spam operations being taken down. What totally sucks is that most of this is politically motivated, and politicians seeking election want to take credit for helping "solve" the spam problem - to the point where the politicians don't care if they actually solve the problem. As long as there's a perception that they're doing something about it, the actual impact matters little.

Can Van Halen save us (again)?

In early 1978, Van Halen released their debut album, reviving guitar-based rock and saving us from disco. Ask any rock guitarist what Eddie Van Halen's contribution to rock music is, and most will tell you he brought a new style, approach and feeling to rock guitar. Would-be 15-year-old rock stars everywhere traded in their Les Pauls and Fender Strats for single-humbucker Kramers with wacky paint jobs and locking tremolos. They barricaded themselves in their rooms with the first Van Halen album and didn't come out until they either learned how to play a passable version of "Eruption" or they threw their guitars out of their windows in frustration. Kids flocked to concerts, not just to hear Eddie, but to experience the party-hearty three ring circus that David Lee Roth created as frontman. And we were saved from disco.

We all know what happened in the mid-80s. Roth left the band. Van Halen took on Sammy Hagar as a lead singer. Roth fans rebelled, but many more fans (myself included) stuck with VH and were treated to a number of terrific albums. In '96, Hagar left the band. Aside from two new songs subsequently recorded with Roth, it was all pretty much downhill from there.

Rumors have been flying since VH ditched their third lead singer, Gary Cherone, in late '99. But they've been just that - rumors.

Meanwhile, Eddie had some personal difficulties to overcome, namelya bout with tongue cancer and a divorce from his wife, Valerie Bertinelli. Some think they've seen the end of Van Halen. And fans have been teased with rumors so many times for the past 5 years that they're frustrated.

The rumors are really flying now, but we Van Halen fans are also hearing mutterings from some credible sources that Van Halen is indeed coming back. It looks as if differences have been patched up with Sammy Hagar and he is the most likely candidate for fronting the band.

I hope it's true. Why? Not just because I'm a slobbering VH fan, but also because I think we need to be rescued again. Younger folks will probably tell me that I'm just getting old, but I'm convinced that the quality of rock music just ain't what it used to be.

Aside from some singles I've bought on iTunes from John Mayer, the White Stripes, Counting Crows and Aerosmith, I haven't bought any new music in almost three years. Actually, that's not entirely true - I'm getting most of my musical stimulation from indie bands I either see live here in NYC or hear about from my cousin in Jersey. Truth be told, I don't see much out there that's terribly compelling. Certainly, I haven't heard an album in the past few years from one of the majors that can be listened to from beginning to end. The experience of the album is one I definitely miss.

There used to be so many great albums out. Some of my fondest memories are of playing Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon, AC/DC's Back in Black or Metallica's Ride the Lightning and listening to the album all the way through on my stereo while I sat on my bed with headphones on and stared at the ceiling. I can listen to any Van Halen album and get this experience. (Well, okay...maybe not Van Halen III.)

Shows used to rock, too. Since I grew up on Long Island, I caught a lot of shows at Nassau Coliseum and Jones Beach, but nothing could beat taking the train into New York to see a show at Madison Square Garden. Bands like VH, Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith, Rush and Ozzy could sell out arenas. There was nothing like the experience of seeing these headlining bands along with 18 or 20,000 other screaming fans. These days, I can see many great bands in smaller venues like the Beacon Theater or Roseland, but I've got mixed feelings about it. While I can get a better seat in a club or small theater, it's just not the same as a packed arena.

But I digress... I hope the recent VH rumors are true. We need rescuing from clown makeup bands, bubblegum pop, tired gangsta rap and depressing alternative bands. Everything's really becoming formulaic, manufactured and just plain crappy. If Van Halen could come back and remind us of what genuinely exciting guitar-based rock sounds like, maybe we'll get something going. Maybe Aerosmith will go back to its roots instead of writing power pop tunes. Maybe Rush won't have to play at Mohegan Sun anymore. Maybe Metallica will stop sucking and start writing speed metal again instead of this droning horseshit they've been putting out lately.

I'm tired of the void in rock. And I'm not buying another album until the void gets filled. If you feel like I do about the sad state of music today, say a little prayer before you go to bed tonight that the rumors are true.