Eric Porres, Certified Repair Tech

So while I was working remotely on Friday, alternately cranking out insertion orders and preparing for Sposbash, I get this e-mail from Eric:

Subj: Your phone took a tumble:
Body Copy: The wire got caught in the wheel of a chair here...the speakerphone works, but i've had to jerry-rig a way to use the handset until i can get someone from m5 to have it repaired/replaced.

This morning, I come in to find this. Everything looks normal on my phone, except there's this orange screwdriver jammed into it. Much like those construction workers who accidentally shoot themselves in the head with their nailguns, I'm afraid to remove it, out of fear that it will stop working altogether and I'll be without voice communication today.