Carpet Deodorizer - Just Say No


So I took a few hours this weekend to give Hespos Central Command and Official Bachelor Pad a thorough cleaning. I vacuum regularly, of course, but the carpet in my living room was starting to get that faint odor that you typically smell when you visit your grandmother. So I figured I'd get a can of Carpet Fresh to take care of it. Big mistake.

While I was cleaning, I sprinkled some Carpet Fresh on all three carpets in my apartment and let it sit for about 20 minutes. Then I broke out the vacuum cleaner.

This is no ordinary vacuum cleaner. I bought it right before I got downsized at Mezzina Brown. It cost something obscene like $500, has a true HEPA filter, and not one but two motors. In short, this vacuum cleaner is bad ass.

I'm reasonably sure I got up all the Carpet Fresh, in addition to whatever dust and microscopic beasties were lurking in my carpet. Then my girlfriend came over to hang out. We were sitting on the couch and I casually removed my shoes and socks at one point. A couple hours later, I noticed a burning sensation on the bottoms of my feet. I'm not the type to get all weirded out by stuff like this, so I dismissed it - until it was time to go to bed. By then, I felt like I had walked across hot coals.

In fact, the burning sensation kept me up for most of the night. I washed my feet off several times, but my feet still felt like they were on fire. I checked the label on the Carpet Fresh - I don't have the exact language handy, but it said something to the effect of, "If rash occurs, discontinue use."

Huh? WTF? Shouldn't they make this stuff reasonably safe? I'd hate to think what might have happened if I had a young kid or something. If I had a toddler, I'd probably be playing with him on the rug, giving him horsie rides and whatnot, and the next thing you know he'd be screaming and yelling from carpet deodorizer burning his skin.

Hey, I'm the first guy to say caveat emptor when getting an unexpected surprise from a recently-purchased product, but shouldn't the FDA or another of those three-letter governmental organizations open a can of whoop-ass on anyone who sells carpet deodorizer that burns your feet when you walk on it?

Da feets are feeling okay now, but that's the last time I let any of this carpet deodorizer crap into my apartment.